Picture it … you finally slip out of today’s outfit only to be met with a pile (or mountain) of unfolded laundry from “before” (before being an unspecified amount of time at our house). Your darling husband is enjoying a little reprieve in his favorite chair and you look over at him ever so lovingly and:
a) Sigh heavily, thinking about letting the laundry sit another week (it’s clean so … ?)
b) Throw a sock at him, hoping he can read your mind
c) Let him rest while you fold the laundry
d) All of the above
While you’re contemplating your answer, let me introduce myself. Hi! I’m Quantrilla Ard, but as you learned on Monday, feel free to call me Quanny. I’m so excited to be your Study Leader for the remainder of this week.
Still thinking on an answer? Let me make this a little easier. Ladies, option d is out of the question ... okay, okay option a is also.
Listen, sisters, if this totally fictitious account of unfolded laundry doesn’t rile you up, it’s okay. There are probably a hundred other scenarios that could. But like we learned in Monday’s video, our challenge this week is to choose to not take offense. And how do we choose not to take offense when conflict arises in our marriages? I’m glad you asked.
In chapter 3 of Keep Showing Up, Karen Ehman gives us insight into a “trio of trouble” that can be found at the root of and/or inflate marital conflict:
- Baggage - the leftover “stuff” you carry into your marriage that has nothing to do with your spouse
- Expectations - the “highlight reel” you use from past or current experiences to create your own reality
- Perceptions - your “unique” and typically unobjective way of viewing people and situations
Now that we’ve identified this opportunistic trio, we can take ownership and move forward in our quest to not take conflict personally. And guess what y’all, Karen gives us four ways to do just that (beginning on pg. 71). Here’s my favorite:
“Believe the best. Don’t assume the worst.”
Dear friends, let me share what God’s teaching me. Believing the best will revolutionize your marriage because it realigns your thoughts about your husband, which will then change how you see him. Your first thoughts of his behavior won’t ruffle your feathers any more because you’ll believe he’s speaking/acting from a place of love. When you believe the best about him, you’ll be choosing to reframe your perceptions and extend grace.
So let’s head into the rest of our week reflecting on how/where we can change our perceptions to believe the best.
We’re in this together,
Believing the best isn’t always easy, but it’s one way we can show love to our husbands. How are you doing with this? Are there any areas in your marriage that could benefit from a “believe the best” perception change?
Don’t forget, all comments are entered into this week’s giveaway (listed in the Week at a Glance).