Notes From a Recovering “Right-aholic”

April 15, 2019
“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Romans 12:18 (NIV)
Pinterest Image

Over the course of a 15-year career in broadcasting, my muscles for preparing a perspective on a topic refined my arguing skills and needed a lot of workouts to maintain the 10-year debate I found myself in at The View. I could call myself, and have called myself, a recovering “right-aholic.”

I needed and loved and thrived on being right for a very long time. In my personal life, training to be “right” started early — right answers on tests, right study habits, right decisions after school, the right course selection to get into the right college to follow the right path. I even played right field. That’s how much I wanted to be right!

Professionally, I spent a decade and a half needing to be right Monday through Friday each week on live television. Being right was what I was trained to do and what I needed to do. But all that emphasis on being right came with a cost, because people have value. We can be very right about an issue and very wrong with a person.

When we hold on to being right, it looks like two cars on a single-lane road, face-to-face and in gridlock.

Whoopi Goldberg and I started this way at The View. In fact, I’m pretty sure that our first few words to each other only had four letters in them. But at some point, we decided that being right with each other would require being a little more wrong — wrong enough to give someone the right-of-way.

When we did that and backed up the cars, we experienced the joy and freedom of not having to think the same way while still being able to love the same way. And we decided that being right about an issue was less important than being right with one another, because you can be very right and yet very alone.

I’m pretty sure we aren’t going to enter into the gates of heaven with God saying, “Child, I am so proud of you. Look at how right you were.” I am more confident that God desires we experience the joy of being right with one another, not more right than another. I am confident He asks that where we stand on issues becomes much less important and sacred than the God we stand under together.

God desires for us to make peace with those around us. As we see in today’s key verse, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” (Romans 12:18).

Think about that person you are “less right with” because you’ve been so right about a position, an issue or something else that matters a lot less than another human being.

Being right does not guarantee we feel joy. I think we can all be honest and say we wish we had been a little more wrong — wrong enough to make things right with a sister, a brother, a friend, a husband, a daughter or a son.

What would it look like to be less right about whatever the issue was and be more right with the other person? Find a teacher who points you to being right with people, then implement a strategy for doing so. Bob Goff has taught me a lot about this just by how he lives. Jesus Christ is the best Teacher of being right with others! Over the past decade, I’ve learned that working hard at making a point is way less fulfilling than pointing to the Maker.

Heavenly Father, make me wrong enough so that I can be right with others. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.


Galatians 5:22-23, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” (NIV)


Read the first chapters of Elisabeth Hasselbeck’s new book, Point of View, here. In this book, Elisabeth welcomes you into the many different, and often divergent, points of view that she’s witnessed and learned from along the way. It is a journey that brought her to the ultimate point of view that she discovered in the Word of God — that until she sees herself as He sees her, she is not seeing at all. As you read through the pages here, she invites you to make the same discovery for yourself.

For more information or to order your copy today, visit


Connect with Elisabeth on Instagram, @elisabethhasselbeck.


Enter to win your very own copy of Point of View by Elisabeth Hasselbeck. To celebrate this brand-new book, Elisabeth’s publisher is giving away 5 copies! Enter to win by leaving a comment here. {We’ll randomly select 5 winners and notify each one in the comment section by Monday, April 22.}


Where has being right about something made you wrong with someone?

What steps can you take today to begin closing the gap with the person who came to your mind and heart?

© 2019 by Elisabeth Hasselbeck. All rights reserved.

Proverbs 31 Ministries thanks WaterBrook & Multnomah for their sponsorship of today’s devotion.

Click here to view our policy on 3rd party links.

Join the Conversation

Study Products

There are no products to display.


She Speaks Online: A Communicators Conference

July 31-August 1, 2020

This is the online conference you’ve been waiting for! We want to meet you right where you are and help you take your next steps as a writer, speaker, teacher and leader.

Register Now!

About Proverbs 31

Proverbs 31 Ministries is a non-denominational, non-profit Christian ministry that seeks to lead women into a personal relationship with Christ, with Proverbs 31:10-31 as a guide.
Learn More

Support Proverbs 31 Ministries

In a day and time when the world is trying to quiet biblical truth, Proverbs 31 Ministries is determined to help women engage with God’s truth like never before through the resources we offer each day.
Give Now