 Proverbs 31 Ministries is a non-denominational, non-profit group dedicated to bring God's peace, perspective, and purpose to today's busy woman. Through Jesus Christ, we shed light on God's distinctive design for women and the great responsibilities we have been given. With Proverbs 31:10-31 as a guide, we encourage and equip women to practice the Seven Principles of the Proverbs 31 Woman. It is our goal to maintain discussion groups which truly reflect these principles. Our guidelines have been established with this in mind. It is important to remember that we have a diverse group of women involved, from several countries and many different Christian denominations.
Discussion Guidelines
It is important that all members read the guidelines. Failure to follow these guidelines could result in the removal of posting privileges or removal from the discussion group.
It is common practice for e-mail discussion groups to maintain a limited focus, and we follow in that tradition. We do encourage the development of friendships through light-hearted discussion. It also suits our purpose for women to talk about their daily routines, including joys and frustrations. However, we do not allow discussion of divisive subjects such as politics and denominational issues.
The cell group leaders and spirit team (for the main discussion group) have been chosen carefully. They are mature Christians who have proven that they understand the goals of Proverbs 31 Online Community Ministry. It is up to them to lead the discussion in such a way that it adheres to the goals of The Proverbs 31 Ministries. It is also up to the leader to decide if the discussion no longer meets the goals of Proverbs 31 Ministries. If a leader requests that a topic no longer be discussed, continuing to do so may lead to removal from a group or groups. Those who have paid and are removed may request a pro-rated refund.) If anyone does not follow the guidelines or causes problems for the other women in the group (and there is no change in behavior after leader requests a change), the leader may request that the administrator removes them from the group. If there is at any time any disagreement with the decisions of a cell group leader or the spirit team, first write the cell group leader or spirit team. If the matter is still unresolved, then you may take your dispute to laurie@proverbs31.org.
General Net-iquette
Read all ADMIN messages first, before responding to your e-mail.
Avoid sending the same message to multiple lists "cross-posting" to all the addresses in your address book. This presents many problems when people try to reply to these posts. It also distributes e-mail addresses that your friends and family may not want given out. Use the BCC (Blind Carbon Copy) option if you send to more than one person at a time. The Proverbs 31 discussion list address must be in the "to" column or the post will not be sent through the group by the server.
Do not post Private Posts to the list without written permission of the original sender. When posting a devotion or story from another list, or from the Internet, include appropriate references or copyright information.
If another member requests that you no longer send posts to them privately, please abide by their wishes. Failure to do so may cause you to be removed from your groups.
Do not use ALL CAPITAL LETTERS, as this is considered SHOUTING!
When Forwarding Posts, please edit out all the extraneous headers but keep the appropriate copyright or source information.
Avoid posting chain letters & virus warnings. These are most often rumors or hoaxes and are intended to cause unneccesary alarm.
When Replying to a post, do not include the entire contents of the previous post; edit out all but the relevant parts, leaving enough to make sense.
Avoid excessively long signature files at the bottom of your messages.
Please read the "To:" and "cc:" lines in your message before you send it. Are you SURE you want the message to go there? Never assume that your e-mail will be read only by the recipient. Others may read your mail. Never send anything that you would mind seeing on the evening news or would not want read by your mother, your boss, or Jesus.
Specific Proverbs 31 Net Guidelines
Those who join a Proverbs 31 Online Community do not need to agree with all the views of the leadership of Proverbs 31 Ministries. However, the Seven Principles of the Proverbs 31 Woman are the basis of discussion for elaboration and are not to be disputed.
Due to prior difficulties with the following topics with the main discussion group (Noblewoman), we ask that this list of subjects not be discussed in the main discussion group. We have found that these discussions cause division rather than providing encouragement for Christian homemakers.
- Denominational issues
- Controversial doctrinal issues
- Women in the pastorate
- Homosexual/gay issues
- Boycotts of any kind
- Halloween
- Christian dress/head coverings/hair
- Partisan political discussions
It is not that the discussion of these issues is wrong, but we have found from past experience that it is difficult for such a diverse group to discuss these issues in a manner that glorifies God. There are other discussion groups that encourage discussion on these topics. If you really want to discuss these topics, you may want to join a group that allows these discussions such as a political discussion group.
Because the cell groups are smaller groups, there is more latitude to discuss these topics. It is up to the cell group leaders to decide whether or not these topics will be discussed. It is also up to the cell group leaders to end the discussion on any topic if the discussion is no longer glorifying to the Lord.
No advertising or solicitation is permitted (except for Proverbs 31 fundraisers for the continuation of the ministry).
Content should be uplifting and encouraging and, therefore, discussion that is denigrating of an individual or group will not be permitted.
No posting by men (with exception of a baby's birth or hospitalization of the member). We want this to be a place where the women can write about whatever is on their hearts. If they see men posting, they may not feel as comfortable.
Use your judgment when deciding whether to respond to the list or an individual. Consider whether your response will benefit the whole list or, is more appropriate to be sent to one person. Generally one-line responses should go individually (for example, "me too", "Amen" & "thanks").
Remember to fill in the Subject Line with an appropriate Subject Header. Some people discard messages without a subject.
Please remember that, when you post, you are writing to a real person with real feelings that can be hurt. When we write e-mail, the non-verbal part of basic communication is missing. We cannot see facial expressions or body language. Smileys just don't cut it sometimes. We must be extremely careful when we write any negative response. Please be careful that you do not convey a judgement or anger when you communicate to the group.
We encourage you to Send URL's of interest to the group, but we do suggest that you include a short explanation of what our members will find at that site. Time is precious and our members are more likely to visit sites of interest to them.
We hope that you will abide by the guidelines that have been set for our list. If, however, you choose to consistently disregard the rules of the Proverbs 31 Lists, our administrators reserve the right to change your membership to No Post status or remove your e-mail address from the discussion group. This is to protect our other members and maintain the focus and goals of the Online Community Ministry.
How to respond to a "difficult" e-mail message
From time-to-time, members of a discussion group will disagree. These are diverse groups of Christian women, many with strong convictions about various matters. We must always deal with each other in love.
Remember: A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouth of the folly gushes folly. (Proverbs 15:1-2 NIV)
Before we send an e-mail to the list, we need to ask ourselves a few questions (especially on replies). Is this pertinent to the whole group? Or a good part of it? Or several? Or should this just be told to one person? If someone said this to me, in love, would I want to read it in a public note or a private note?
Then we should ask.. should this be sent at all? Pray over your post. Did you write the reply in anger? In frustration? In hurt or disappointment? The delete key may save you from sending a message that would hurt a sister in the Lord. If you are in doubt about the message, save it to your drafts folder and send later after you have read it again. At that time you may decide to just delete the message. Sometimes it can be rather satisfying to know that you can get all the feelings out and then just delete it. Just a small triumph. God won that round :) and there are no regrets.
Again ask yourself - how would I take this if someone wrote it to me? Consider the other person. Pray for the other person! Pray about your attitude.
Remember -- we are all part of the same Christian family. Just because we can't see each other or touch each other, we're still family. We all have love for one another. We hurt when you hurt, we rejoice with praises, and we encourage each other. Let us continue to edify, encourage and enjoy each other.
If you ever have problems with another list member, NEVER send a post to the entire list with your concerns, and do not contact that individual before doing the following:
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Pray that the Lord would give you insight into the heart of the sender. |
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Search your heart and make sure you are not being defensive. |
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Pray for that individual. |
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Compose a response, but do not send it. This can be therapeutic. |
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Allow some time to pass before acting on your feelings. |
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If you have further concerns you can contact your cell group leader or the spirit team through p31spirit@proverbs31.org or Laurie, who will help you work it out. |
Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails..." - 2 Corinthians 13:4-8a"
If you have questions about the discussion lists or how to post, please check out the Online Community Frequently Asked Questions.
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